What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
