He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
