Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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