you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
