saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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