after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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