So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
