See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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