i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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