this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
