My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
