worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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