I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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