Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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