just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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