my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
