If that was your dad, he is hot
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
