Porn is love you can see.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
