So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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