Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
