so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
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