i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
