It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
