Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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