I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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