Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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