What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
