So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
