My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
