the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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