i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Be still, my beating vagina.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
