yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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