Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
