we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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