Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
