dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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