plz talk dirty to me
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
