me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
