I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
