My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
