Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
