she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
