Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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