I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Let's get the cat blown out
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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