found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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