I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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