Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
