he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
