I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I love you. Go after that dick
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
