He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
