Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
