Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize