If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
This is the high leading the old right now
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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