you win again, gameday.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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