What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
