after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I love how my cats smell like pot.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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