Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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