She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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