marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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