That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
