Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
