There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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