dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize